The Death SentenceBy - Lydia Froemming
Only slightly less frightening than a charging rhino, a little less agonizing than a bad tooth ache, and very nearly as painful as a fast fall down three flights of stairs is ones very first speech. There you stand, in front of thousands of angry-man-eating goblins, well maybe not, more like two judges and your mom; but still it’s got to be the most terrifying experience of your existence. All you can think is, “only 10 more minutes till this is over, only 10 more minutes till this is over..” this thought rages over and over in your head completely eliminating any thought of what your supposed to be speaking on. Suddenly the stunning revelation hits you – you can’t remember what it was you were supposed to say, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Life is over, your dead; you will never live down this humiliation, then and there you swear on pain of death never, ever, ever to speak in public again. Thus begins the life long adventure of “Public Speaking”
Public speaking has a way of getting a hold of you, no mater how much you hate it or how hard you try to avoid it; at some point in your life you will undoubtedly find yourself facing an audience and having to actually speak. However, this fear of public speaking is not only foolish it’s also unnecessary. Today I would like to take you on a voyage of discovery as we dive head long into this fear of public speaking, how to overcome this fear, and the amazing benefits you will acquire.
Today in the United States public speaking is the number one fear; it even tops the fear of death! That means that the vast majority of people today would rather be the one in the casket at a funeral than giving the eulogy. But why do people fear public speaking so much? Well I’m not sure, but I think it might have something to do with that strange nervous sensation you get right before it’s your turn to speak. It’s really very interesting
if you take the time to study it out, it starts in the pit of the stomach deep down there almost like a heavy weight pulling down, down, down. Some people will mistake this for the stomach flu or any number of other strange
diseases, but it’s not. After lodging it’s self in your gut, this deadly foe then climbs to your arms and hands, soon you may find you no longer have control of these important limbs, your hands may start to shake uncontrollably. After devastating the hands and arms, this mesmerizing presence then climbs to its final destination – the brain – once securely there it affects your mouth, you begin to stutter, uh, uh, uh, um, ah, yeah, well, anyway…. Soon you may find to your infinite horror, you no longer know what you were supposed to say, or why. After sinking into your chair, a silent failure, you wonder why you couldn’t say anything, since your entire speech is now coursing through your mind at near light speed. Thus begins your introduction to that enemy know as the “Fear of Public Speaking.”
Jeff Meyers, a prominent speech coach and influential speaker, once said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is action in spite of fear.” Despite all the terrible things that could happen when you get up to give a speech such as, forgetting your speech, tripping on the way to the podium, talking at 20million miles a minute so no-one can understand you, or falling over dead; One thing that is sure not to happen, you will never fail! The courage to get up and try has already launched you far past the failing stage. Failing is not having tried, insisting you can’t, or giving in to that enemy of fear and quitting.
I still very clearly remember my very first failed attempted at speech….. I had been preparing to give a book report at a small Homeschool gathering. The night came and I was very excited, I had been planning and preparing this for weeks and now the big night was here! As I watch the other kids get up and give there book reports I started to get nervous, that slow growing knot in my stomach was starting to take control of me. Finally I was beyond any cure, I couldn’t get up in front of all these people and talk, it was impossible, so I didn’t. After the book reports were all given, minus mine, we had dinner and then – let the fun and games begin! For every one that is except me, I was so mad and frustrated with myself for not giving my report that I spent the entire night crying on my dad’s shoulder. (That night I failed.)
About 5 years after that first failed attempt at speaking in public I was in a speech class with our local Homeschool co-op; I was to give a speech, the first I had ever written, and performed in front of a live audience; I prepared carefully and was both excited and nervous. As mom drove my brothers and me to class that day I made a rather dumb wish, “I hope I can be very last” my mom and older brother both informed me that I didn’t want to be last, but I was persistent. However, I finally conceded, and determined that what I really wanted was to be second-to-last. Oh’ foolish child that I was, my dreadful wish came true, I sat through what seemed like hundreds of other speeches with each speech firmly confirming my belief that mine was worst of all and I’d never be able to get up and actually do it! Somehow I did manage to survive, I gave my speech with a minimum of stuttering and umming, it probably helped that I was allowed to us my script! Looking back I now know that never again will I wish to be last! But as time passed, I gave other speeches for this class. Then my brother and I decided to try debate; it was then I found out that the only way to overcome this fear of speaking in public is to just-do-it!
The Just-Do-It mentality is what I tell people who ask me how to get involved with Homeschool speech; if you never try you can never succeed. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
Besides gaining complete control over your crackling voice, you will gain a host of other benefits from mastering the art of public speaking. The memories you will gain are among some of the most entertaining and haunting ones that you’ll ever have. I still remember my first speech tournament; I did this really short humorous poem that wasn’t funny. I can still remember parts of it…. “…the hand that rocked the cradle, but there is no such hand – it is bad to rock the baby they would have us to understand…” My first round I messed up really bad, well actually I didn’t mess up at all but I thought I did so I covered my face with my hands and moaned (I’ve never been terribly good at moaning so that was quite an accomplishment) and in so doing I acquired one of my most embarrassing moments. All my memories of speech tournaments aren’t bad though, some are down right ugly! Well, I guess I do have a few good memories…like the time we got second in duo (even though there were only 2 duos) hey seconds still second! Then there was the time I spilled coffee all over my shirt right before it was my turn to speak, or the time I had to do an instant re-write on my dramatic because I skipped the entire beginning, and of course the time I spilled the judge’s water all over while shaking their hand.
The memories are great and abundant but better still are the friends I’ve made in my short and some what haphazard speech career. I have met so many awesome people, not just other competitors, but judges and coaches as well. It’s a social event and being somewhat of a social person, I love it! I often tell people that even if they don’t care about learning how to speak effectively in public, they should still do speech for the social aspect! Hey, that’s why I got involved.
Last but by no means least, are the skills you learn and the way in which you will prepare yourself for future events. Colossians 4:5&6 says, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” I have had countless opportunities to put into practice the skills I have learned from this frightening thing called speech. One Christmas I gave the dramatic piece I had prepared for competition that year twice for our church, once for the Christmas program and then after that our pastor ask if I would do it again for the Christmas Eve service. Another time I gave an impromptu type speech at a girl’s discipleship conference, in front of 500 girls and mothers I was very glad to have had previous speaking experience! Two years ago a very close friend of mine was preparing for her wedding; I was floored when she asked me to do a scripture reading for the wedding service. What an honor, and was I ever glad that I had over come my fear of speaking in front of people! After the service I was told by so many people how calm and in control I looked, ha! Really I was shaking in my boots (or dress shoes, which-ever you prefer) I had just learned to put my fear out of mind and not think about it.
The truth is you may never stop getting that sinking feeling right before you speak, I still do, I can guarantee that I felt that same feeling not 10 minutes before a speech when I realized that soon I will be speaking in front of a group. You just have to get past it, learn to control it, and make it work for you and not against you. One speech coach I had was very fond of saying, “Every one gets butterflies, the trick is making them fly in formation.” So I encourage you, get past the fear, swallow that lump in your throat, and Just-Do-It. You’ll never get over your fear any other way, and without doing it you’ll never reap the benefits of all that speech can bring you.
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