The Heart of a River

My heart is like a river flowing to the sea, caught on every bend, delayed by every tree
Open up your eyes catch a glimpse of me, fighting like a fool to find eternity
Swing around the next bend, see what you shall find, another shallow hole, another loss of time
Cast by winds of doubt hit by rains of pain, can I even begin to find the truth that you now claim
Am I making headway? Can you even doubt, the pain that I am now feeling it makes me want to shout
My heart is heavy and hurting, my eyes are growing dim, this race that I am running, does it really lead to Him
Can this journey onward really be the way, perhaps I’m lost and lonely because I’ve lost my way
When I see a smile, or hear a word of cheer, my heart for a fleeting moment feels that you are near
In those times of laughter I forget my pain, but another rainy day is sure to call my name
The clouds are gray and lifeless, so now is my day, if I can but find you I shall get on my way
Why then Lord, I wonder, why for me this pain? What have I done to forfeit all your richest gain
Open your eyes now child, what now did you do? What indeed, but all that warrants death do you pursue
Oh’ this foolish child, aches because I choose to flow like a wayward river that is lost without a clue
My heart is hurt and broken only because I choose – to deny him the pleasure of fixing it anew
Take all that I am, ever ach and pain can be borne with pleasure in the prospect of this gain
Heaven and your smile, waits around the bend, now this foolish river will find true rest again