"Hearts Desire"

For a while now i've been working on a story/book. I've always loved writting and wanted to write a book and so a bout two years ago I started this one, it's been rather slow going and i'm not sure how original or how "good" it is. So I thought i'd put a small portion on here and see what you folks think of it - please any one who reads this silly blog comment!

“Finally, it’s over!” Brielle sank onto her bed, enjoying the solitude and quiet that the security of her room provided. Graduation was over, done, a thing of the past. Now for some quiet, away from the questions - the constant enquires of “So now what are your plans?” “What are you going to do with your life?”

Brielle’s quiet moment was interrupted by the “dadadada dum” of her cell phone. Rummaging through her every overflowing purse she pulled out the annoying electronic distraction and pushed “talk”, to be greeted by Katie on the other line.

“Hey, Hon’” Katie’s exuberant voice held all the energy Brielle felt she instinctively lacked.

“Hey Katie, how was your grad party? So sorry I couldn’t make it.”

“It was amazing, oh’ my, I’ve gotta tell you about this guy I met today”

Brielle rolled her eyes and tried to act interested in Katie’s newest “hottest-guy-ever” description.

“His name is Kyle and he is AMAZINGLY good looking, but better than that, he’s an amazing man of God! I only had the chance to talk to him for about 2 minutes, he came with my cousin Chuck to my party, but Chuck was telling me about Kyle’s ministry project . . . oh’ Bri, he’s perfect, do you think he could be “The One”?”

Brielle took a deep breath before answering; she had had this conversation with Katie so many times. “Kat, I know you think he’s the greatest guy on God’s-green-earth, and he probably is pretty amazing”

“Oh’ Bri you have noooooooooooo idea!” Katie squealed.

“Yeah, sure, but you still have to guard your heart. You can’t go falling in love with a guy you’ve only met once in your life.”

“But Bri, he’s sooooooo perfect. He’s exactly the kind of man you and I have talked about so often.”

Brielle carefully thought about her words before responding, she knew Katie was “in the clouds”, again. It seemed every time she met (or even saw) a good looking, single, Christian guy she was sure he was “The One”. After a short pause Brielle gathered her courage and tried to reason with her friend,

“Kat, you know you mean the world to me and I want you to find the right guy, almost as much as you want to find Mr. Right. But even if this Kyle is “The One” you still have to guard your heart. It’s wrong to give away parts of your heart, even to the right guy, before the right time. If he is the right one he’ll understand, love and appreciate your commitment to waiting for the right, God given, time to show your emotions and bestow him with the gift of your heart.”

The long silence on the other side of the phone made Brielle wonder if Katie was mad at her, or if perhaps she had lost phone service and dropped the call. “Katie, you still there?”

“Yeah, I know your right Bri. It’s just so hard not to think about the future and wonder who it might hold. What if I know him right now? I mean, I agree you should guard your heart and all that, and I defiantly don’t want to give pieces of my heart to the wrong guys, but how do I know if I’m giving away pieces of my heart? Is it even ok to think about guys, a little? Can’t I even wonder if maybe he is Mr. Right? Why does God give us girls “crushes” and stuff like that if we are just supposed to ignore them? It just doesn’t make sense! I’m so confused.”

Brielle stared out the bedroom window, all the question her heart had been asking her mind were suddenly hanging there in the air before her, waiting to be answered. How was she supposed to answer Katie’s question? She couldn’t even answer these questions for herself.

“I don’t know Katie. I just don’t know.”

A sigh and silence followed. “But, I do know that we don’t have to be confused, we need to follow God and seek to serve him. If we strive to follow him we can never be truly confused. Maybe a little unsure about a certain situation but in the long run it’ll all be work out for our good. Follow the Lord and let him work out the details. A lot easier said than done, that’s for sure!”

“Yeah. Well thanks Bri. I really needed your little lecture, oh’ better run, mom’s calling. Bye, bye!”

As Brielle hung up her phone and turned to the solitude of her room she was, once again, painfully reminded of the fact that she, too, had no one. Her mind traveled back to earlier that morning at her graduation open house, her grandmothers words still rang like a never ending gong in her ears:

“So Brielle, are you going to go to college this fall?”

“No, I don’t think so grandma.”

“What are you going to do then? Do you have ideas for a job?”

“Well right now, I’m just planning on staying home and helping mom with house work and the boy’s school. And if needed, I’d like to be available to help out other families who could use an extra hand around the house.”

“Brielle, you really need to think about your future, honey. You need to get an education; you aren’t going to be able to follow your dreams and make your place in the world if you just sit at home and live off your parents!”

Grandma looked exasperated at Brielle’s apparent lack of forethought and spoke in a high-pitched and frustrated voice, it was obvious she thought Brielle’s plan for the coming year was down-right-stupid.

Brielle took a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer for wisdom before answering, “Well, you know grandma; all I’ve ever really wanted to do with my future is be a wife and mother. And what better way to train for that than spending time with other wives and mothers and learning from them?”

Grandma looked shocked at Brielle’s “obvious” lack of sense, “Brielle! What are you saying? Don’t you realize you have no guarantee you’ll EVER get married. What if you don’t? Are you just going to live off your parents for ever? And even if you do, is it really fair to expect some man to provide for you while you sit at home and do nothing? Most families can’t make it on one income any more, dear; it’s only fair that the women work too. You really need to think about your future.”

It was pretty clear that grandmother was NOT going to understand Brielle’s point of view. But she couldn’t just come out and tell her, “Oh’ you’ll never understand my beliefs, so I’m not going to even try to understand yours.”

With a weary sigh and an ache in her heart Brielle had promised her grandmother she would think and pray about what she had told her. Grandma hardly looked impressed and with a few more admonishments to not “waste” her life and to not “depend” on men all her life she had moved on to get some food and talk to other family members and friends.